Pancakes & muffins

Hello there!

Whatever you are thinking now, no- this post is not about food. I'll tell you more. It's all about body and how much we hate it sometimes. I am sure I am not only one who from time to time want to destroy all mirrors at home, close all doors, stay in bed and never ever leave my own comfort zone... But as we already know- magic happens where our comfort zone ends...

Basically, "these" days happen every 3-4 months. Usually they are related with changing seasons when we are also changing our clothes. And then, very often occurs the " have nothing to wear!" syndrome. Ough! Hate it!
And now is a burning question- what was first? My bad mood and the syndrome and then disappointment with my body or the syndrom, the bad mood and then disappointment? Or maybe the first and only reason of depressing days and negative, pesimistic attitude towards life is a lack of satisfaction related with my body look? Complicated...

Let's analyse basic glossary first:
-a big ass- the most common invective. Sometimes we ask  our partners tricky questions, using "the big ass" as a part of show me your love strategy. It works like this: "Do you think my ass is too big?", "No, hun, it's perfect!" (yeah, sure) "No, look at this. [Me in skinny jeans]. Too big!", "Kasia, you look great, I love you!". Yes. 2 in 1- he loves me + he loves my big (hmm, maybe not too big!) ass.

-the pancakes- maybe this is only me but since I lost 50 kg/ 8 st I no longer posses impressive bust... I have 2 beautiful, not to big, flat pancakes. Yes. And you know what? I don't care. There are only few moments (guess...) that I wish I could have fuller boobs.

- a muffin, side muffin. You look amazing, all is perfect. Stop. Look once again, look at your waist, look at your sides. F$%#k!!! WTF?! The side muffin!!!! And the whole look is destroyed. No matter what I do, no matter what I eat, no matter how hard I work out. After losing many, many kilograms there is some % of excessive skin left on my body. And this is fact. I have to be very careful when chosing the "right" clothes. Still fighting with this, let's call it- problem.

Let's back to the main topic of today's post- what determines what? Is my attitude towards my body and myself really mine? Or it is just a reflection of other people's opinions and the world's trends?
Before an holistic change I have experienced, that touched my body as well as my mind and spirit, I was totally addicted to other's opinions. What people say about me and my life, do they like me and a way I look, what they think when talking with me...Too many ifs, too many doubts, too many ?s... Now I can see a difference- when you mentally grow up, you feel in 100% responsible for your own >you<.  No matter what other say- you know your worth, you know they don't have right to judge you.
Maybe it sounds trivial, maybe I haven't discovered nothing new, but self- development on a 3 dimensions that create our unique, one- of- kind synergic system is the best way to discover THE REAL POWERS everyone has! There is no other way to take control over all our demons, negatives, bad, depressive thoughts, the pancakes, side muffin and big asses, than constant work on them. Step by step, one by one. Strategy for fighting with enemy is super simple- to understand & to eliminate it. Later you are free, on your own, building the real YOU.

This season, when I open my wardrobe and will be near to say "I have nothing to wear!", I am going to stop for a moment. I close my eyes, visualise how good I look now, where was I in 2011 and what is waiting for me ahead in upcoming future... And then will think twice before saying something deeply autodestructive, that will hurt me too much...

With love and always positive thoughts in an head & heart,
Kasia.

PS.
But if you still think that post is about a food, well, ok. You won!
There are pix of super tasty, veeery blueberry, yogurt cake. I have made it several times but still have no fixed recipe ;)

Generally it goes like this:
300 grams of blueberries
80-100 grams of butter/ spread
150 grams of fat free Greek style yogurt
1 whole egg
3-5 tbls of sugar
3-5 tbls of oats
vanilla extract
1 glass of flour

Results are delicious!